Thursday, May 29, 2014

happy as can be.....
Here it is nine months since my last update. Reading back, I was not in a good place that day and am sorry to leave the last blog post in such a down mood.

Other than minor colon surgery in January, all has been on the mend since last September. Can't say all things are back to normal though ( "normal" is ever-changing ). The medications that I continue to take for cancer prevention have side effects such as swollen and painful feet and thinning hair, etc., but all is relatively minor to the alternative of returning cancer. A recent "chance" encounter with a guy at Barnes and Noble woke me up to reality. His wife who had had similar breast cancer in size, stage, and type as mine had a recurrence within two years of diagnosis and passed away within a year after that. She had chemo and radiation as well as double mastectomies and it still came back. I didn't have the chemo or radiation but am taking other meds that she did not. I guess I've been in total denial, but I have been operating on the mindset that after a double mastectomy - no more cancer. I knew this wasn't really true, but stuck to the belief that it was true for me, if you know what I mean. But to report good news, my yearly chest MRI shows all things clear!! Yeah!

After hearing of this man's wife passing, my mindset has changed. I'm not more afraid, but rather have become happier and more appreciative of each day I have. I don't fret the small stuff and value time with friends and family and especially quality time with Kenn more. I've really never felt happier! I'm enjoying my painting time more and am no longer putting pressure on myself to "produce" paintings.  All in all I'm just so thankful for the time I have and for all the ways I've been so blessed.

I'm still so humbled and thankful beyond words for how many of you friends and family members supported, prayed for, and cared for us over the time of my illness. Your love was extremely instrumental in carrying us through those tough months and we will be forever grateful! I'm thinking that this may be a way of closing out my "survival journey" for now. My journey of life continues but I do certainly feel like a survivor- no, certainly AM a survivor.