"dog sick and out of toilet paper".......
After yesterday's mail my life has been a country song.

*Humana letter arrived denying rib tumor claims, official now ( this was not a surprise )
*Expect that Nov 6 surgery be postponed until after March when it will be past the 12 months since policy began, no longer pre-existing and Humana will cover it.
*Hospital bills pouring in.
*Letter from Northside Hospital stating that my assistance application approved but finding out that it will not cover half of what I thought it would.
*$24 in bank account, $4 cash, 1/8 tank of gas, and eating beans, beans, and more beans.
*one roll of toilet paper left and my dog is sick.

With the dawn of this Saturday morn and overcast skies with a pounding headache I had lost my "peace" of mind. My "first thing in the morning" times with the Lord have not been consistent this week and I felt it. I hungrily met Him in my "place" with emotions intense and tears ready to spill. I never ask the question "where are You?" but more often "why do my plans have to be changed?".  Lord, I want to have things my way and everything run smoothly––please, no more surprises!

It shames me that money issues and provisions not apparent throw me more than facing death that I experienced three months ago. God has allowed us to be without money for a few days ( just a few days! ) to show me my heart and see that I still have a long way to go in completely trusting Him to provide and to fully yield to his timing and plans for me. I am comforted by this verse today:
Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the LORD", plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Today has developed much better––my dear brother deposited funds to cover some immediate needs, my dog is not sick after all, my headache is gone, I found some spaghetti sauce and made a carrot salad, I'm sorting bills and feeling better about the totals and found a box of kleenex just in case the last roll of toilet paper runs out.

I'm yielded to the "plan" and changes and trusting again that my Heavenly Father has my back and knows what is best in the long run. Peace has returned. Thank you, Lord for never forsaking those you own. 

Hebrews 13: 5-6 " Let your conduct be without covetousness, and be content with such things that you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you," so that we may boldly say, "The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me. "

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