Friday, September 14, 2012

not good enough ....
This could apply to several things as I update. In my last post I thought if I was a good enough  patient––but I'm not––that I would have my drain tube removed on Wednesday this last week. It turns out that I shouldn't lift my left arm as well as not lift anything over 5 lbs. The 5 lbs I heard but somehow I misunderstood that I should be keeping my arm to my side. It didn't hurt so I lifted it away. This lifting my arms causes more drainage to occur and as a result the drainage has not slowed enough so the tube won't be removed until sometime next week.
After the mastectomy the pathology report was not good enough to leave the nipple which had been spared. Not only was there cancer in the nipple but more cancer was found in the breast tissue, cancer not removed from the initial lumpectomy. Finding this cancer was such a huge confirmation of my decision to have the mastectomy instead of opting to have another lumpectomy to get "better margins". All cancer is now gone except the nipple which will be removed during the upcoming rib surgery. No big deal. Because Kenn wanted to avoid using the word "nipple" in his latest update on Facebook ( for my privacy ), the update was a little more alarming than necessary and I apologize.
My insurance is currently not good enough to schedule the next surgery for the ribs. Because of the denial of coverage from Humana, my surgery is being put on temporary hold until my appeal is rejected or accepted. Docs say not to worry and I won't as long as this doesn't go on too long. Humana has a 30 day time limit to respond to my appeal––I hope and pray that the appeal is good enough!
My last info was that the ribs surgery would probably be scheduled for the end of October or beginning of November. I don't pay much attention to dates anymore.
My brain has not been good enough to accomplish much during this week of recovery from surgery. The pain med and muscle relaxer have just made my mind cloudy and foggy much of the time. The sleep is great though. Today I have been tapering off to try to regain some mental capability to get this move on with a plan. Our wonderful group of friends, family and church family are standing by to help and we are not even able to tell anyone when to come to help pack or move stuff! Don't lose interest! We will get our act together this weekend and begin putting a plan together and get rolling sometime next week hopefully putting a lot of you volunteers to work––at least get a calendar of work days established.
I do see a plus in the rib surgery being scheduled later. We plan to be out of our current home by the middle to end of October. If the surgery had been in the beginning of October, I think the move would have been so much more difficult. I'll probably being going home from the next surgery to recover in Marietta instead of remaining here in Tucker. It will be good to have the moving part done already and I'll be able to focus completely on my recovery.
So how is this all going to happen really? I'm not good enough nor is Kenn. But God is blessing us with love and help in every step of the way. His provision, guidance in our decisions, leading our steps, giving us peace in the face of fear is what is good enough. God is so very good––good enough for all our needs. Are we good enough to deserve that kind of love, grace and care from him? No, but He even provided what we need to be worthy of that love.