Thursday, June 21, 2012

first post......
So, this is my first post, post-discovery of the the Big "C". I would say that it will be a long difficult journey ahead but I know that good will come of it. I expect it will define my life as much as my art has, maybe even more. For a while at least it will become my full time job. You notice that I titled this a journey of survival- I will give it everything I've got.

I'll try to post as often as possible to keep you updated on how we are doing.
Because this  story began a little over a month ago and I haven't kept everyone in the loop until now, I've asked Kenn to post here a collection of emails and facebook posts he has so thoughtfully been sending to friends and loved ones. Sharing the events in real time this way will give a better perspective of our developing feelings over the past month.

may 18 [ friday ]
took an xray at our chiropractor and dear friend's today ... dr. joel seemed very upset as he read the film ... he seemed unable to look marilyn in the eye, as he cares for her.....

may 23
hope u r well ...
marilyn has discovered a large boney mass on one of her ribs ... her chiropractor xray'd it ... with concern, he sent it to his son-in-law who is an orthopedist ... then he had an associate walk it over to dekalb medical for an assessment by their radiology ... suggestions were made that she have a CTscan ... she will on friday ... we think that there will be surgery regardless of the status of the mass ... may mean not working for four to six weeks ... not sure how we will make income ... but God ... please pray with us as we excitedly wait for the path that we are confident we are to travel ... and any new things that will come from "it" ... marilyn is holding onto Proverbs 3:5-6, " trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all ways acknowledge  him and he will direct your paths"
love to u 2 ... kennman

may 25 [ friday ]

had the CTscan this morning ... no results as of yet ...

may 28
[ monday ]
marilyn:  the CT scan was friday am and i didn't expect to know anything until tomorrow at the earliest. but is does seem like a long time when you are the one waiting. i'm at peace and preparing for anything but the waiting is not fun. thank you for your prayers and interest. you will know as soon as we do.

may 29
[ tuesday ]
got a report today from the CTscan ... too much to share but it generally concludes there is enough showing to suggest further tests are encouraged ... biopsy, MRI and ? ... made an appointment with an oncologist for monday at 1:30 ... he will read the scan and possibly do some blood work to see what is up ... so ... looks like it is still a "wait-and-see" situation ... we are exercising faith and know that there is a path laid out for us and we are looking to the Lord for everything as we move forward ... does that about cover it?

june 1

marilyn:  nothing new ... this is marilyn this time. I've been preparing for anything next week. got the will done along with power of attorney and living will. needed to do this a long time ago and don't want to have to deal with it if surgery is scheduled quickly. getting the home squared away, passwords listed for KENN for bills and such, calling clients and informing them of likely schedule changes, etc.  when i read online stuff i get sick at the stomach––too much info of what it could be. but my mind and heart are at peace for God's will and plans for Kenn and me. humor is
still plentiful here in this house, not dreary, thanks for your prayers

june 1
it took a week to schedule the CT scan. had it last Friday. Results were on Tuesday because monday was a holiday. seeing an oncologist for further evaluation highly recommended. so called right away on tueday, earliest appt for this monday at 2. I'm thinking more tests will be ordered by him and things will move very quickly from there if cancer is suspected. This all started with an xray from my chiropractor and I'm pretty sure he thinks it is not going to be good..... very concerned.

the big surprise for me about the CT results was that i have not one but two bone tumors. one is on the front right rib behind my breast and is 7x 6 cm. the one i didn't know about is on a right back rib protruding into the chest cavity so i didn't feel it's presence. it is larger at 8 cm by 6 cm. no pain just noticed the one on the front growing noticeably in last two months. these lesions are growing into the bone and disrupting the cortex so i'm pretty sure that they will both be removed surgically either way, cancer or not. having two removed will be harder to recover from than one, bummer. cancer would be a much bigger bummer––like on steroids!

june 4 [ monday ]
first meeting with new doctor and oncologist, dr. daniel dubovsky. he seemed alarmed after viewing the scan ... said he would have his number one guy review it [ he talked with him via phone in our presence ] ... told us he was leaving the country on friday but that he would have his team on it ... "hope to get all the tests buttoned up before i leave ..."

june 6

tomorrow, the first two tests are scheduled, a mammogram and a full-body bone scan ... from this will come a move toward a diagnosis ... next wednesday will be a needle biopsy .... this should tell all ... maybe then we will have an actual diagnosis. thanks for all the support ... we will keep you posted.

june 7
got to northside hospital at 7:55 [ parking lot stamp ] and marilyn had a couple of tests scheduled ... we left a little after 3pm [ that is, according to the parking lot stamp ] ... eight hours was exhausting ... she had a mammogram and a full body bone scan ... talked to a female doctor ... scheduled two biopsies for next week, tuesday and wednesday ... one breast lump biopsy on tuesday and bone biopsies on wednesday ... looks like our work is going to get interrupted for sure ... marilyn has no pain and is generally happier than usual ...

june 13

just got the first word on one of two major tests done yesterday and today ...the breast biopsy looks like it's the Big C  this was a big surprise because we thought the breast lump would be nothing ... still don't know the results of the bone biopsy done today ... we are hopeful that the boney masses are not cancer as well ... this is the best word that we are holding on to: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

june 14
marilyn wants to let you know that she is in god's hands and at peace with the journey he has her on ... and he will give her strength to endure all things ... and, most of all she prays that He will be glorified either in her healing or in her illness ... “in christ's humanity, he prayed that the cup might be passed from him, that is, that he might not have to endure the ordeal, but he also prayed that the father's greater purpose be done ... ” marilyn is in a place where she has relinquished all control over what happens to her physical body ... glory to be the outcome, regardless ... [ she is standing next to me dictating ]

june 18
no word yet ... still holding waiting for the news ... she's a trooper ... another good day in her spirit ... strong and steady ... able to make important decisions and phone calls, etc ... still hanging in ... she's napping now

june 20

today was the big day we have been waiting patiently for ... the bone tumors are cancer too and the same kind as the breast cancer... not a surprise, so our emotions have surprisingly not changed...tomorrow will be our second visit with the oncologist and we hope to hear what the plan of treatment will be... love to all and thanks for all your prayers... marilyn